


May I Have This Dance

by QueenCandY_Key, xSweetelegantdisasterx (QueenCandY_Key)



Category: K-pop, Monsta X, Shownu - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fluff and stuff, Kpop fanfiction - Freeform, Slice of Life, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-15 09:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18495730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCandY_Key/pseuds/QueenCandY_Key, https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCandY_Key/pseuds/xSweetelegantdisasterx
Summary: Ahnjong has to work two jobs to take care of her siblings. Soon, her life begins to fall into place, and she meets someone who pushes her to fulfill her dreams.





	1. ❈ Mystery Dancer ❈

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make this into 5 chapters, but oops, I happened to make it longer. I will upload them this week and work on the new chapters. Please enjoy reading.

Everyday, Ahnjong would sneak into the practice room to dance. She wasn't an idol or even a trainee of any sorts. She was just a blue-collar worker that cleaned the studio after everyone left. She had a dream to be a dancer, but she had to sacrifice that dream for her baby siblings. Ahnjong worked at two jobs to care for her siblings. She had been a caretaker for them for a few years now. Throughout the week, she'd work during the day at her first job being a waitress. On some evenings and weekends she'd work at the studio. 

She felt like she had to grow up quickly, but for the kids, she'd do it all over if needed. Haneul was the youngest of her two siblings; he was in kindergarten. Jinae was the middle child in middle school. Ahnjong wanted to make sure the kids were in school and got the education they needed. At least to turn out better than her. She definitely wanted to provide the best life for them as much as possible. It wasn't their fault the parents were absent. 

Ahnjong rested the broom up against the wall, as she turned on the lights. She had noticed the idols in there earlier practicing. You could almost say she was living vicariously through them. Grabbing her phone, she began to play her favorite song. She tied her hair up with a ribbon, wanting to dance a bit. At least to unwind since she had finished the place. Dancing helped center her and still gave her a sense of relief from all stress. 

She counted to five as she allowed the music to take over her body. With each movement, she imagined being on stage once and for all. Ahnjong only knew how to express her feelings through dance. Unbeknownst to her, she had a watcher encapsulated by her. He had returned seeing the light left on.

Ahnjong flowed like a calming stream. It was hard not to watch her. Her new friend was curious as to who she was, and why she wasn't there during the day training. A talent like hers, that came naturally, was hard to find. Shownu just watched in awe. Her spirit flowed with each step she took. For each song that played, it was like the artist wrote it for her grace. She never noticed Shownu watching her. 

Each step she took, was like magic watching her. Tomorrow, he planned to find out who she was. He didn't want to interrupt her, so he decided to leave before she spotted him. There was no need to break her train of thought. He knew first hand how annoying that could be. Ahnjong finally stopped as she glanced at the clock, it was time for her to go home. She had to be up early for the kids and her first job of the day. As she scratched her head out of frustration for the time running out, the ribbon fell out of her hair. She didn't think to check if it was still up, so it was left behind. She grabbed the broom, as she closed the door behind her. She needed to put the cleaning supplies back in the closet. 

Ahnjong hurried home to her siblings. She didn't mean to be out too late, but she lost track of time. Hopefully, they were both in bed. As she unlocked the door, she crept in quietly. The house was a small two-bedroom one bath. The siblings had separate rooms, and she slept on the couch. She checked in on them as she covered them up and tucked them in bed. As she closed their doors, she looked among the two people that she adored more than life itself. 

The next morning she was dragging a little bit, but nothing coffee couldn't help. Every morning was the same routine: make sure the kids got up and dressed, ready to go and make them breakfast and lunch for their day. In the evening, she arranged food for them since she was absent some nights due to working. After the kids had eaten, she walked them to their schools. Haneul was the first stop, as she gave him a kiss and hug to send him off. Every day, he was a cheerful kid running happily to meet up with his friends. 

When Jinae and Ahnjong were walking, there was something on Jinae's mind. 

"Ahn, do you regret having to take care of us? I know that you always wanted to do professional dance." 

It hurt Ahnjong to hear this from her sister. 

"Never Jinae. You and Haneul mean more to me than that. I don't regret anything, and I never will. Don't ever think that ever again. Alright?"

"I'm old enough to care for Haneul, I'll be in high-school next year. That is if you wanted to pursue your dream. You're the eldest, and having to pay for what our parents did. It isn't right to have all the responsibility on your shoulders."

Jinae was growing up level-headed just like Ahnjong. It was like looking into a mirror that showed the past. Jinae was about to go into High-school, but Ahnjong didn't want to have her face that responsibility. 

"Things will work out for us. If I keep working hard, something good will be awaiting us. I just want you and Haneul to worry about yourself and growing up as kids, okay?" 

Jinae looked down, "I love you Ahnjong. You have always been my mom. Even before they up and left us, you were always taking care of me. Then when she had Haneul, you took the responsibility of him. He sees you more like a mom too. I swear they better never show back up." 

Jinae was right. These kids were her children in a sense. She remembered every time they were sick, Ahnjong was the one taking care of them. Losing sleep to make sure they were okay. Anything that happened at school, their older sister was the one that took care of it. Not their mom. That was why, she worked as hard as she did. It was for them to succeed in life. 

They arrived at the school for Jinae, as she hugged her. Jinae went to meet up with her friends. Ahnjong had a long walk to work, but it helped her clear her mind. It mentally prepared her for the day ahead. She arrived as she looked up at the sign above the business. It was true, it wasn't where her heart was, but it would do. At least she kept food on the table with it. 

She made her way to the POS system to clock in. Her manager had paid attention to her work ethic noting her hard work and wanted to offer Ahnjong an assistant Manger position. She was reliable and knew everything like the back of her hand. If anyone deserved it, she did. Ahnjong usually picked up everyone's slack. 

"Miss Kim, please come with me." 

She followed the manager worried that something was wrong. It would kill her if anything jeopardized this job. 

"Yes manager?"

"I've noticed your working style and ethics. I have something to discuss with you." 

Something was wrong. She has a weird feeling in her tummy. 

"I'm sorry if I've messed up. I know I ran late a few times, but my little brother was sick. I had to make sure he was okay." 

"Miss Kim, you're one of my best workers. I just want to offer a promotion. I know about your situation, and I also don't mind. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't offer this to you."

Everything was fine, she threw herself in a panic for no reason. 

"Really? You mean it?"

"I do. Please accept this offer. You've sacrificed everything for this job, and I feel you more than deserve it."

"I'll take it!" 

She was so ecstatic. With this promotion, she could spend more time with her siblings and cut down on working so much. The manager gave her a key as he walked her through her new duties. This was an amazing feeling being recognized. Another customer recognized her as well; from the night before. 

Shownu was eating breakfast with his friends, when he noticed the sleepily Ahnjong walk through the door. A smile crept across his face. Now he knew where he could see her outside of the studio. Why she was there after closing, was still a hidden question. 

"Excuse me," he got the attention of his waitress. "Who is that lady," he pointed at Ahnjong. 

"That is Ahn. Ahnjong, she is one of our best workers and my close friend. She is now the Assistant Manager." 

"Is she a dancer too?" 

"Ahn? Oh no, well not professionally. She does work at Starship Ent at night, though." 

"So is she an idol then? Why would she be at the entertainment studio if she wasn't a dancer?" 

"No," she leaned down garnering the attention of his friends more, whispering, "she cleans the building." 

Shownu was surprised by the response. Being a custodian was a notable job, the building wouldn't be spotless or smelled good without her, but he was so sure she was a trainee or even an idol. He sat there with his mind doing twists, leaving everyone surprised to the 21 questions he had for their waitress. 

"What is it? Do you know her?" 

"No, well, I saw her last night. I saw the light on in our practice room. She was dancing. But don't tell anyone, I don't want her to get in trouble if she wasn't allowed to be in there. She looked at peace while she danced." 

Shownu looked over at Ahnjong as he smiled. For as long as he could, he would make sure Ahnjong had her peace at night whenever she worked there. He would eventually speak with her, but he wanted to know about her first. He would have loved to stay there, but they had to get going. He smiled at Ahnjong when they exchanged eyes. She beamed back at him. 

Anhjong jumped in during the breakfast rush. She was pleasant to be around, but she was particular about things. This made her organized, but she was extreme about things being perfect. It was OCD to her that always bit her in the end. As hours had passed, they finally overcame the rush. It was a good christening for her new position. 

Her shift was over as she said her goodbyes to her employees. It was time to get to the studio, to start her second job. Ahnjong pushed the door open to many people chatting away in the lobby. A few of the girls didn't care for Ahnjong and wanted to make her into a mockery. Anytime she showed up, the whispers would start. Shownu just so happened to notice them talking about a girl. When he looked past them, he saw the person of interest; Ahnjong. 

"Shouldn't you be training and not talking about other people, when you haven't even been accepted as a debuting idol yet? What makes you better than her?" 

The girls were surprised at how crass Shownu was suddenly. He didn't like people treating each other so carelessly. That was actually a pet peeve of his. 

"Sorry Shownu, we'll do better," they ran off into a room. 

Ahnjong never noticed, since she had her earbuds in. Music helped her gain the ambition to clean. Shownu grasped the ribbon left behind as evidence, as he shoved it back in his pocket. She still hadn't noticed she lost it. He wanted to wait until they were alone to give it back to her. 

Ahnjong was greeted by her coworker as he handed her a bag. He was an older gentleman she cleaned with. His wife took a liking to her and her siblings when Ahnjong first started working there. Some days, she would send food for the kids to have. They knew about her situation, and just wanted to help ease up some of the stress by any means. In a lot of ways, she reminded them of their children. She was rare and one of a kind, with a heart of gold. 

She accepted the food graciously as she placed it in her locker, inside the break room. The couple would help her with anything she needed. She was forever grateful to them. They split up and started working, as Ahnjong put the ear buds back in her ear. She noticed everyone coming and going from the studio. It was truly a busy place. Maybe one day, her days would be spent doing what she loved best; dancing.


	2. ❈ Memories ❈

As the night quickly approached, Ahnjong started to get tired. Normally, she would practice dancing, but she was too exhausted. As she put the cleaning supplies up, she lingered enough just to take in her surroundings, the company even. To her, it was ironic how she ended up there. Not how she imagined, but it was okay.

Ahnjong closed up for the night as she took off towards her house. She and Jinae's conversation still lingered. It was just like her mind to dwell on things. Her mind chose this.

****

_"Mom! Look what came in the mail for me!"_

Ahnjong was practically bursting at the seams with excitement. Her hard work would be paying off soon. She grasped the acceptance letter in her hand as she hugged it tightly. Just weeks before she had auditioned to be a trainee for one of her favorite companies. Every day for the past few years, Ahnjong practiced dancing after school. She knew that school came first, then her passion. She was in middle school when she applied and auditioned. Already, she had her life plan worked out. With her being accepted as a prospective trainee, there was nowhere to go but up.

_"Ahnjong, when are you going to grow up? Your dreams of dancing are so far fetched, do you really think you'll actually be recognized? You have about as much of a shot being an idol, as I do being a queen. Oh and simply put, you're not even that good."_

Hearing her own mother cut her down was horrible. She had faith in herself, so why didn't her mom? It was an everyday occurrence. Her mom was hateful, and didn't care about her. That part was loud and clear with Ahnjong being brushed aside like that. She went to her room as she cried. Even if her mom didn't agree with her, she had confidence in herself. That was a driving force within her soul. She wanted to escape her mom's grasp, so she was going to go ahead and go through with the process of becoming a trainee.

Her mom came into her room to irritate her more. It seemed Ahnjong wasn't listening to her.

_"While you're at it, your sister is hungry. Feed her."_

_"But mom,"_ Ahnjongs mood turned sour. _"I always feed Jinae."_

_"You will do as I say. Also, get the trainee idea out of your head. You won't go."_

Ahnjong felt instant betrayal. This was not right. It was Ahnjongs life, so she needed to make her own decisions.

_"Mom, I respect you as an adult, but this is going to be my big chance. I'm not missing it."_

_"Do you want to test me? You will be here everyday working around the house and take care of Jinae. That's final."_

Her mom was unreasonable. Ahnjong loved her little sister, but felt as if her mom should have to take care of her. Instead, she spent many nights at the casino and around sketchy people. All she wanted to do was to party; Ahnjong wasn't blind, she was the one left to care for Jinae. Her mom made sure to have Ahn miss her chance. Her job was to watch her little sister. Every night their mom was absent more and more, leaving the responsibility up to her. She was trapped and knew it.

The way Ahnjong was treated, was an indication that their mother just didn't care. She saw her kids as a mistake and burden. Ahnjong also saw that her mom's revelation was correct. She just couldn't leave Jinae, for there would be no one to take care of her if she left. She had to make a decision that went against her heart. After Ahnjong put Jinae to bed, she returned to her room crying.

_One day I'll be following my dreams._

Years had passed with Ahnjong taking care of her little sister aside from schooling and work. The relationship with her mom got worse by the day. Nothing she did was ever good enough, nor was she appreciated. Ahnjong, despite all of her family, related issues and working all the time, graduated top of her class. She made a great achievement and put money back to begin the steps of training. After she picked Jinae up from school, their mom was pacing the floor. Her little brother was asleep in his crib. Haneul was another child for Ahnjong to care for.

_"You need to get two jobs Ahnjong."_

_"Why yes mom it's always good to see you too."_

_"I'm tired of you sassing me Ahnjong."_

Ahnjong sent Jinae to another room; there was no need for her to see the fight.

_"Yeah, well I'm tired of having to pay for your stupid decisions. That doesn't matter, though. I just need a little bit more time and you won't have to put up with me."_

She walked to her room as she had a pain wrenching feeling in her stomach. She noticed things in her room was out of place; not how she left them when she left the house.

Ahnjong looked everywhere in her room. _She didn't, she wouldn't._

She walked over to her desk as she pulled out her money box, from her secret drawer. Slowly opening it, she saw an empty box staring at her. Her mom took every bit of cash she had stashed away to start over. Angry, she stormed in the kitchen.

_"What did you do with my money mom?"_

_"What are you talking about? You had money put away?"_

_"Don't play coy with me. You took my money that I worked for. I have been saving up for years. Where is it?"_

_"I needed it, so I took it as a payment of you living here, being a freeloader."_

_"Freeloader? You're the one that is constantly going out with different men a night, while your youngest is sick. Hooking up with strangers at a casino, blowing all of our funds. What have you ever contributed to this house? I have paid the bills since I could start working. Ever since dad left us for your stupid decisions, you have been hateful to me. That money was to help me leave out of this hell."_

_"What gives you the right to talk to me like that?"_

Ahnjong was betrayed once more. Her mother took everything she had. All she wanted was to start getting her life together. Her mom blamed her for her father leaving, but Ahnjong knew exactly why he left. Her mom was like a parasite. It ate her father up with how her mom was. Always with different men, frequenting casinos every night. She abandoned this family emotionally, but he abandoned physically. He moved out of the country to start over. She never saw her dad again after that day he said goodbye.

Now, there was a new person brought into this life sentence. One that her mom clearly didn't want. Ahnjong went to Jinae as she just sat on her bed.

_"Sissy, what's wrong?"_ Jinae put her coloring book down as she walked over to Ahnjong.

Ahnjong wrapped her up in a hug as she started crying. _"Kiddo, I love you. I promise to always show you that, and never make you feel unwanted. I got us."_

Jinae was confused about her older sister, but she reciprocated the hug. _"I know Ahn. Oh also, my teacher wanted to speak with you."_

_"About what Jin?"_

_"It's just over my progress this term. Nothing bad, he actually stated I'm one of his smartest students."_

_"Do we need to go today?"_

_"He's not expecting us."_

She sat on her bed. Whenever Jinae had things to take care of from school, she went to Ahnjong. Their mother never cared for their academics or even showed up whenever Jinae was involved in anything. Ahnjong was the one who took care of that, and her. When she or the baby was sick, it was Ahnjong that took care of it. She heard the front door close from the other room. Glancing at her watch she saw it was time for her mom to go to the casino.

A thought passed Ahnjong's mind as she got nosy. Opening up her mom's room, she saw paperwork scattered across the bed. Noticing the paperwork, she read more into it. It was a promissory note of loans her mom took out from numerous loan-sharks. As she read deeper, she noticed where she put everything up for collateral. The house, car, everything in the house. She owed money at the casino too.

Ahnjong clenched the letter tightly. _Oh no. We're going to lose everything._

Once again, her dreams were sabotaged. She closed the door behind her as she decided to make food for her and Jinae. The baby would be up soon too, so he had to be fed as well. She got lost in thought as she cooked. Everything was falling apart. Her mom showed what she truly cared about. She never intended to take care of Jinae or Haneul. That was a job left for Ahnjong.

Putting the kids to bed, she glanced at the clock. Their mom never came home. She never noticed that there were bags missing from the closet. As she cleaned up, she knew. She realized that day her dreams were too far gone to pursue. Her mom made sure of that now. She sabotaged Ahnjong's chance, leaving her as the sole caretaker of her siblings. Now, Ahnjong was going to have to work hard for her mom's stupid decisions.

****

Ahnjong unlocked the door as she saw Jinae up. It wasn't late but seeing her up was different.

_"Ahn, I finished my homework. Can you check it for me?"_

She was frozen at the door as she hugged Jinae. It was apparent she had been crying.

_"I don't want you to ever feel like you or Haneul was a mistake. Do you understand me? I'm so sorry things have turned out the way they are."_

_"Ahn, what are you talking about? Mom? You're our mom. Let's face it. You've always taken care of me. You were there with every illness, school function, if I ever got in trouble. Likewise with Haneul. We love you. I just want you to follow your dreams. You sacrificed everything to care for us. Even your own happiness. I saw the letter from years ago. The one where you got accepted as a trainee around my age."_

Ahnjong pulled back as she remembered that she forgot to put it up. She never intended for anyone to see that. It was a bittersweet memory, but she chose her siblings first.

_"I was supposed to start training. Every day I pushed myself to become one of the greatest. I avoided home because it never felt like home, living with mom. She always told me I wasn't good enough, or it was too far fetched."_

_"I don't remember dad Ahn. Why did he leave?"_

_"He got tired of mom being an adulterer spending all of his money on casinos and guys. Honestly, I don't blame him. She blamed me, though. I was always the reason why something went wrong."_

_"If you ever had the chance again to be a dancer, would you take it?"_

_"I don't know Jin. My heart wants it, but I have to take care of you and Haneul. You both come first. Besides, you're looking at the new assistant manager."_

_"Do you work tomorrow?"_

_"Just at the restaurant."_

_"Okay."_

Jinae sat back as Ahn looked over her homework. It didn't feel or sit right with her that Ahnjong wasn't living her dreams, after Ahn told her to always follow hers. She got up as she went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

_"Just bare with this a little longer big sister, I'll help you pursue your dreams. I'll find someone to believe in you."_


	3. ❈ Miracle Worker ❈

Ahnjong was surprised to see Jinae up and ready for school. Usually, she liked to sleep a little later than her alarm. It was odd to see her energetic so early in the morning.    
  
_"I got Haneul up and ready too. I'm almost done with his breakfast. Can you put his lunch in his bag for me, though?" _  
  
Ahn stood there looking around. Jinae was acting strangely, but a sweet strange. She was never sneaky, so Ahn had no reason to think negatively about it. She nodded her head as she worked alongside Jinae. They got everything ready as they sat down for breakfast.    
  
_"What time do you get off Ahn?"_  
  
_"I think I'll be home after dinner. Is there something we need to do?"_  
  
_"No, I was just wondering. Can you check into my homework later also?"_  
  
Ahnjong just smiled. She honestly could never ask for a better sister. Her traits were wonderful, and she was responsible, just like Ahn. Jinae gathered up the dishes as she walked towards the desk, making sure Ahnjong wasn't looking, she pocketed her acceptance letter. Today, she would start inquiring things for her big sister.    
  
_" Haneul, c'mon let's go. Sister has to get to work."  _  
  
Jinae grabbed onto Haneul as they left the home. She was quiet, trying to figure out how to excuse herself from school long enough to find out information. If Ahnjong found out her plans to skip, she was going to be in trouble. Regardless if it was for good intentions, she would still get in trouble for skipping classes. With her having perfect attendance, maybe it wouldn't cause too many problems.    
  
Ahnjong saw Jinae and Haneul to school as she continued to her job. She walked in as she was greeted by everyone. Once more, Shownu and his friends were there to enjoy breakfast.    
  
***   
  
Jinae peeked around the corner as she walked to her locker. She had faked a bad stomach ache after lunch, allowing the ability to go to the nurse. The nurse decided she had the stomach flu, from all the symptoms Jinae showed. The school sent her home. She was free to go to the company that Ahnjong tried out for. Walking, she felt nervous to be doing this, but Ahn deserved a second chance for happiness.She didn't want her sister passing that up.    
  
She approached the address as she looked up. If things were different, her sister would be here 24/7 almost. Ahn could have been an idol. Walking into the door, she got goosebumps. This entertainment company was surreal, and it was exciting to think that she could possibly help Ahn out.    
  
_"Excuse me,"_ she approached a group of guys standing outside a room.    
  
_"Yes?"_ They all turned to see a young girl standing in front of them. Shownu recognized the girl from somewhere, but couldn't place how he knew her.    
  
_"My name is Jinae, my sister applied here to be a trainee. She got accepted, but things came up that hindered her chance to pursue that dream. How could she go about doing that again?"_  
  
_"She could try reapplying again. Did she send in a tape?"_  
  
_"I actually have footage of her. From every practice she has ever done, to her audition video,"_ Jinae held the phone into her hand tighter. All she wanted was for him to hear her out.    
  
_"Can I see? That is if you don't mind?"_  
  
Jinae scooted closer as she pulled up Ahnjong's videos. She handed Shownu the phone as she watched. That one video was a legacy in its own right. Ahnjong was so young when she auditioned. Everyone was amazed at how good she was.  The company was so sure at the time, that they had the next big name.    
  
_"That is my big sister Ahn; I even have her acceptance letter."_ She handed it to him to look over.    
  
Shownu read the entire letter seeing the authenticity. When he saw her name, it pieced everything together. This young girl was a spitting image to the lady dancing in the studio, that he saw nights ago, and in the restaurant. She was the same one he was watching now. She was the lost dancer everyone spoke about. The company just figured she was snatched up by another.    
  
Jinae showed him more videos as she could tell he was pulled in. She covered many songs, as well as original choreography. She was talented. No one could deny that. Jinae kept checking her watch to make sure she'd have enough time to get her brother.    
  
_"This is your sister? Doesn't she work here as a custodian?"_  
  
Jinae nodded,  _"Yes, she was forced to give up her dreams._   _This is her dream. She feels she missed her chance. I don't want her to live with any regrets. She's all Haneul and I have.  She sacrificed everything for us. I wanted to try repaying her." _  
  
Shownu sat back trying to take in everything. He honestly didn't know what he could do to help. " _Maybe, I can get it to where she can be our backup dancer for starters._ _It's worth a shot, but I can't promise anything. I've actually seen her practice. I thought she was a trainee the first time I saw her."_  
  
_"She was made for this. I'm not going to go into what prevented her, but it was unfair."_  
  
Shownu grabbed his phone as he had her send him some of the videos, to try and discuss Ahn with his manager. Maybe he would agree to this.    
  
_"I appreciate you hearing me out, even if you wind up not being able to help me. I have to leave now, so I'll say my farewells."_  
  
_" Jinae, why isn't she the one here asking for a second chance?" _  
  
_"Because, she doesn't know I'm here or doing this. Also, because she believes that her dreams were ripped away by our mother."_  
  
He sat there fully attentive to Jinae. It was strange that she was the one pleading for a second chance. There was more to this story than Jinae was letting show.    
  
_"Let's just say our mom was probably the worst. No matter what Ahn did, she always got cut down. When she received this letter, her dreams were coming true. Our mom was hellbent on Ahn taking care of two kids instead;  Haneul and me. Our mom walked out on us 6 years ago. She had to get two jobs to care for us. Ahnjong is probably the most hardworking, selfless person you will ever meet. She always tells me to follow my dreams. So, I'm following my biggest dream right now; to help her achieve hers."_  
  
Jinae bowed as she started to leave. She didn't mean to disclose so much, but she wanted to be honest with him since he was going to help. Her heart was racing. It also didn't dawn on her who she was talking to at the time.    
  
_"Oh my. That was.  . Shownu."  _  
  
She hurried off to Haneul's school to walk him home. Jinae felt relieved to be able to help Ahn. She didn't expect Ahnjong to be there. Standing by Ahnjong, she intertwined her arm with hers.    
  
_"They sent me home from school. I wasn't feeling good." _  
  
_"That's strange you were so energetic this morning. Either way, I have to go to the entertainment studio. Do you feel okay to come with?_ _"_    
  
Jinae tried to shield her inner happiness, _"Why Ahn?"_  
  
_"I left a few things in my locker, that I forgot about."_  
  
The trio arrived as Shownu was still watching the videos. He looked up to see Ahn. She smiled as she walked by proceeding to the break room. Jinae took Haneul to sit down.    
  
_"Is this Haneul?" _  
  
_"Yes."_  
  
Ahnjong got back to the lobby as she saw Shownu talking to Jinae.    
  
_"Thanks for keeping them company. I know waiting can be a little boring."_  
  
_"It's nothing Ahnjong." _  
  
_"How do you know my name?"_  
  
_"I told him sister, he asked what we were doing here."_  Jinae didn't want to blow their cover.    
  
_"Oh okay, thank you Shownu. We have to get going." _  
  
She proceeded on home with the kids to wind down from work. Jinae couldn't help but smile about today. Hopefully, everything would fall into place for Ahn soon.    
  
_"Okay Ahn, check it please."_  
  
As Ahnjong sat at the table she looked over Jinae's homework. This routine made her happy inside.  She was seeing Jinae grow up intelligent. They enjoyed another night together. It was soothing to her that she was able to start spending more time with the kids. She cleaned up the kitchen as she sat down. Tomorrow was a half day, with her only working at the studio. These hours were going to take some change, but she could get used to it. Ahn turned out the lights as she wanted to rest the remainder of the night. 


	4. ❈ Believe ❈

Ahnjong made breakfast for everyone. It was hard to explain, but she had this feeling in her heart that reminded her of when she received the letter for her trainee days. She brought her hand up as she paced.

_Why. Why am I feeling like this?_

Jinae walked up as she hugged Ahn from behind.

_"I love you, don't ever forget."_

She had Haneul up and ready. They ate breakfast as Ahn felt happy for today. Jinae walked Haneul out, _"I'll take him to school sister. You rest and enjoy your day."_

Ahn smiled as she waved them goodbye. She still had a few hours of resting before her shift started, but she wanted to do a little exploring. She took off downtown. It had been a long time since she was able to be somewhere without a major time constraint. Ahn took in the air she felt like a new person.

Time had passed as she had to go to the studio. She neared the studio, as the feeling progressed. It was strange but it was different.

_Jesus Ahn. You're acting like you're 14 again._

She walked towards the break room. An unusual amount of energy flowed through her body. Tonight, she wanted to practice. Ahnjong made her way throughout the studio; she never noticed Shownu glancing at her. Tonight, he would dance with her.

* * *

_"Shownu,"_ the manager called for him since he had something to discuss, _"what was it you wanted to show me?"_

Shownu pulled out his phone, _"Look at what I found."_

_"What is it,_ " he grabbed the phone placing his glasses upon his nose. He noticed the video. _"Wait this is, Ahnjong. Our custodian. She was the little girl that applied years ago? I just thought the young girl got accepted somewhere else. We always wondered where she was, but we never saw her anywhere."_

_"Do you think I could get her to be my backup dancer?"_

_"She never started training Shownu, do you think she'd be right for that?"_ He had questions.

_"I have a strong powerful force that tells me she is."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"We should at least give her a chance. She submitted the tape years ago and she was phenomenal for her age. Over the years, you can clearly see she's improved. I've been doing this for years manager, but I've never seen a natural talent like hers."_

_"I'll think about it, and I'll give you an answer later."_

_"Thank you,"_ Shownu turned to walk out.

_"Although it wouldn't be hard to transfer her since she is technically already an employee."_

_"Is that a yes?"_

_"Yes Shownu, it is. I am going to trust your decision."_

Shownu walked out of the office as he felt relieved. The hardest part would be to get her to agree. He understood that this would be a touchy subject for her, since she got her chances ripped away. She would more than likely be reluctant, scared of the fact that it could be ripped away from her again. He would do anything to prove to her that she was more than worthy of this chance. If he saw her dancing later, he would join her and see how they worked together. After all, she would be his dancing partner.

He went to the room to practice with the others, revealing his plan for the night. It was going to be interesting to him to be able to see her. Grabbing his phone, he sent a text to Jinae.

_Jinae? It's me Shownu. I'm hoping to talk her into it. I'll keep you updated._

_"Only a few hours left. Ahnjong, you will soon see you're more than deserving of your lost dreams."_

* * *

Ahnjong finished the last office as she started to make her way towards the room. For some time, Ahnjong practiced. Her hair was down as she pushed it behind her back for the umpteenth time. Shownu walked in as he brought out her ribbon, he stepped behind her as he tied up her hair.

_"Oh, Shownu I uh. . I,"_ she stumbled for her words.

_"Nothing needs to be said. You dropped this the other night,"_ he met her glance in the mirror.

_"I'm so sorry. I know I'm not supposed to use these rooms, but I feel at peace when I dance."_

_"Well, then,"_ he walked over to her phone as he played one of his songs, _"May I Have this Dance?"_

She was confused as to how her session ended up being a duet with Shownu. Either way, it was going to be. He brought back her ribbon, that she used in the audition tape. It was always her lucky ribbon.

They both started dancing as she felt pure solace. Surprisingly, she never imagined how it would feel to dance with someone else, instead of the person in the mirror. It was nice to have someone just as passionate about dancing, as she was. Ahn didn't know if this would be a common occurrence, but she wouldn't mind if it turned out to be.

The two sat down to rest a moment. Ahn laid back as she had deep thoughts swirling around in her mind.

_"Shownu, can I ask a question?"_

_"What's up?"_

_"How does it feel, you know being an idol? But especially getting to dance in front of people, inspiring them?"_ Ahnjong fought back tears.

_"It is wonderful. I am very glad to be able to instill that in people. To show them that anything is possible if you put your mind to it and believe. To never give up."_

_"I wanted that. I wish I could find that again,"_ she felt her chances were long gone.

_"Ahn, what is preventing you now? You're really talented, I saw you the other night."_

_"I think once I grew up knowing I'd never be able to do it, I pushed it farther and farther away. I was Jinae's age when I applied. That was the best time of my life, being accepted. Believing that I could actually do it."_

_"It's never too late to do something you love. I work with people every day who don't have the natural talent you do. You were made to do this."_

_"I just, I don't think it would be plausible. I have Jinae and Haneul. I can't abandon them. They don't need that again."_

_"You could do this during the day, and be there for them when they got out."_

_"Oh I don't know,"_ she stood up nervous at the fact that they were discussing her trying to be a dancer. _"I just got that job as an assistant manager."_

_"Ahn,"_ Shownu shot up walking to her, _"I know there are many reasons for you to be scared about this. Because you had your chance ripped away, but if you never take a risk, you'll never know what is waiting for you."_

_"I don't know Shownu."_

Shownu had a feeling this was going to be hard, but he didn't realize how hard. There were reservations, strong ones, that she had.

_"Tell me, what did that little girl want more in the world to come out of the training?"_

_"She, I, wanted to prove to herself and everyone that she could be successful. To show Jinae that she has the ability to overcome anything, regardless of our situation."_

He walked up to the stereo, as he played another song. _"Okay, then dance. C'mon,"_ he held out his hand.

She took his hand as they started dancing. They both fit each other perfectly. He felt that they looked great together. It was almost as if they fed off of each other. She felt at ease. Ahnjong definitely felt better talking to him about this. She also knew Jinae went to the company. The school called to inform her Jinae was sick. When she went to get Jinae, she noticed Jinae going towards the company.

_"I saw Jinae come here yesterday. Can I ask what for?"_

Shownu wasn't expecting that question, but he didn't want to lie to her.

_"You know why Ahn. It's the same reason you're in here right now. She wants you to fulfill your dreams, and doesn't want you to give up. Jinae loves you."_

_"She came here for me?"_

_"Yes, she believes in you. I believe in you. Now, you just need to believe in yourself again."_

She started pacing; she had no idea Jinae felt so strongly about it. Ahn couldn't let Jinae down, she had been through so much. Ahnjong was the one she looked up too.

_"If I do this and fail, how do I look at her in the eyes? With her coming to plead for me, how could I live with myself for letting her down?"_

_"The only way you could ever let her down, is if you give up. She wants you to live your dreams since you keep pushing her towards hers."_

Looking at Shownu, she felt emotional. He didn't really know her, or much about her, but she could tell he was sincere and genuine. She owed it to Jinae, for believing so much in her. It made her happy deep down.

_"Okay, but what do I do about my other job?"_

He picked her up as he swung her around. She laughed for the first time in a long time. Ahn couldn't believe that she was actually going to be able to do this, even after all this time. What she thought was going to be just a dream, turned into reality. This time, she didn't have someone who would constantly tell her she wasn't good enough. Instead, she had the greatest cheerleader she could ever ask for; Jinae. Her little sister rooted for her, and she never realized it. Ahnjong made the internal promise that no matter what, she'd succeed for Jinae and Haneul. Those two would give her the boost she needed to go through with this. Now, she had another person that believed in her.

She needed to learn how to juggle the restaurant, and becoming a dancer. This was something she needed to work out. Tomorrow, she would attempt it. They finished dancing as Shownu closed the door behind them. He offered to walk her home, since it was getting late.

_"Do you want to go grab ice-cream maybe?"_

_"Sure, but I'll have to get home after."_

They walked to an ice-cream store as Shownu wanted to spend more time with her. He felt it was only right since they were about to be working together. Ahn was shy and quiet, much like he pictured her to be. She really only spoke if she had something to say. Of course, the factor that they barely knew each other came into play. He did want to change that. Over the course of the time she worked at the company, he developed a crush on her. There was just never a good time to say anything before.

_"Thank you,"_ Ahn turned to face Shownu, _"for believing in me. I guess I am not used to it."_

_"I know, but you better get used to it. There will be a group of us that will."_

She smiled. Right now, it felt like a void was being filled. Never would she had imagined that her dreams would turn into a reality. So quickly even. Ahn just knew she was destined to live forever without knowing. It felt great finally. Jinae met her at the door with a towel wrapped around her hair.

_"You missy, we need to talk about yesterday," Ahn sat on the couch._

_"Ahn, I'm sorry I just wanted you to pursue your dreams."_

_"I'm not mad at you, at all. I actually find it really sweet. I never realized that you looked up to me like that."_

_"Of course Ahn, like I told Shownu, you sacrificed everything for us. It was time for you to have this chance."_

_"Well, I appreciate it. What should we do about you lying, though?"_

_"Extra chores?"_

_"That sounds fine,"_ she hugged Jinae.

Ahn proceeded to tell Jinae about her new found friendship with Shownu. They discussed the night as laughter followed. Tomorrow, she would have to talk to the manager of the restaurant about the hours.


	5. ❈ New Beginnings ❈

Ahnjong hurried to the restaurant as she needed to speak with her boss. This walk felt longer than usual. When she walked up to the door, she took a breath before pushing it open. Everyone appeared to be there, she just had to find her boss. 

_ "I need to speak with you."  _

_ "What is it Ahnjong?"  _

_ "As you know, I work at the studio too. I have been offered a job to be a dancer, something I've wanted to do since I was little. I'm going to take it." _

_ "You're kidding me right? Ahnjong, I offered this job to you as an easy way to pay your bills, now you don't even want to work?"  _

_ "I appreciate everything you've done as a boss, but if I'm being honest, my heart isn't in this. This isn't what I want to do."  _

__

_ "I should have known, you wouldn't be fit." _

She was set aback for his statement. Since they were telling truths, he was letting his out on the table. From all indication, he truly didn't believe in her. 

_ "Excuse me? I'm not fit? Well you know what, that is fine. Maybe I'm not fit for this job, but I am not going to apologize for trying to pursue my dreams. Especially not since that was all I've ever wanted to do."  _

__

_ "You'll regret this. You will definitely be back, because you won't last." _

_ "I will last, because it is about time I believe in myself again and stop letting others break me down." _

That whole conversation she saw her mom. She was well aware he was the manager, but that conversation hit home. If only she had the strength years ago to tell her mom this. She stormed out as she was angry there were people that lived to cut others down. Stomp on others dreams. She felt happy she was doing this. Regardless if she only worked at the studio now, she was one step closer to being where she needed to be spiritually. 

_"Excuse me miss?"_ A female approached her outside the restaurant. 

_ "Yes?"  _

_ "I saw what happened in there, good for you. My name is Keri, I'm currently dating a guy at the company you work at. I was going to head there now. Do you need a ride?" _

_ "Sure, thank you Keri. I'm Ahnjong."  _

She walked with her to the vehicle as she took one last glance at the restaurant. Ahnjong was going to show everyone they were wrong about her. Her mom, the boss, and anyone else that liked to rain on the happiness of others. It was time she lived for herself. Shownu was correct, as long as she worked with them during the day, she could be home with the kids at night. Everything would work out for the best. 

She got out the vehicle as she had a new outlook on the studio. First, she needed to see someone. When she walked in, she wanted to see the gentleman she had the pleasure of working with for so long. He was also one that tried to push her for the best. She wanted to share her great news with him. 

_"Mr. Lim,"_ Ahnjong walked through the break room looking for him. 

_ "Ahnjong, what are you doing here so early?"  _

_ "I wanted to tell you my news, I'm finally a dancer. They're giving me a chance." _

__

_ "That's wonderful kiddo, I do hope you don't forget where you came from and don't forget us old people."  _

__

_ "Never, thank you for always listening to me when I needed to vent. And please thank your wife for everything."  _

_"You're not dying child, I'll still see you around. At least now you won't have to sneak around to practice huh?"_ He smiled as he closed his locker. 

Ahn smiled. She realized that he helped keep her secret for so long. Silently, he was rooting for her achievements. When she thought she was alone, she was actually being admired from afar; from people that only wanted the best for her. Before she knew it, she gave him a hug goodbye to leave. It was time for the first day of the rest of her life. 

She stood outside the door frozen, hardly believing this was now a reality. It felt like a dream she never wanted to awaken from. Shownu opened the door as he grabbed her hand. He led her into the room with all of the others. They were all so warm and inviting towards Ahn. She even noticed Keri sitting down, as she waved. Ahnjong placed her bag down as she felt shaky. Everyone did an introduction as Ahn's nerves started to calm. 

_"If you keep leaving this behind, then I'll have to believe you're leaving bait for me to put your hair up,"_ Shownu tied her hair back again. 

Ahn grinned at his remark. She wasn't doing that on purpose, but she'd let him believe otherwise. They all got ready as a few of the guys explained some pointers to her. First, Shownu took her to his manager to make the process official. She followed behind with her nerves going crazy. This still didn't seem real to her. They got to his office, knocking in the door. 

_ "Ah, come in Ahnjong. I've been waiting." _

_ "Manager Choi, it's a pleasure and I want to say thank you for allowing me this chance." _

She sat down in a chair in front of his desk. Shownu stood besides her. 

_ "Ahnjong, why didn't you ever come to us, to let us know you were the one that sent in that tape when you were younger?" _

_ "Honestly, I figured my chances were gone. I didn't want to bother anyone with my past."  _

He looked at her, as he noticed her humility, _"Well listen, I made a contract for you and had them send me your file to keep with the other idols. I know Shownu told you a little bit about it, I'll explain in more detail to answer any questions you may have."_

"I appreciate it, thank you for giving me a chance." She looked over her official contract. It would seem though the manager wanted her to be with other girls. She did notice where she would work alongside Shownu, as she transitioned into her own group. 

_ "As per Shownu's request, I want to give you a chance to work alongside him and the others. I don't want to waste your talent with just part time gigs, so I would love to start you out as a trainee to develop your skills and possibly debut you in a group."  _

_ "My own group? But I have no talent other than dancing. I'm okay with being a dancer, that isn't an issue Manager."  _

_ "I know. I'm also well aware that you are one of the best. You're very humble Ahn, I don't want you to be underestimated. We have other girl trainees about your age, that we would love for you to meet. You would be beneficial for them." _

As he continued explaining everything, she was calm. The calmest she had ever been. She would be able to work alongside Shownu, and others that she would form lasting relationships with. It was truly happening. Her dreams of being an idol was finally here. 

_ "How long would I be training?"  _

_ "Just long enough to bring your other talents to light. I am aware of your siblings and your responsibility to them. We'll try everything to help you with that, ensuring they are taken care of."  _

_"Thank you manager Choi."_ Everything she read seemed to check out. She grabbed a pen as she signed her name, she was officially a Trainee. They continued to speak about her goals and what she would look forward to being a trainee. 

Ahnjong and Shownu walked back to the room, before they opened the door, Ahn embraced Shownu in a hug. 

_ "Thank you Shownu. For everything. Especially for believing in me, when I don't."  _

_ "You're welcome Ahn, you got this. I'll be here with you every step of the way. If you have any questions, or just need to talk don't hesitate to come to me."  _

__

_ "I'm gonna grab my bag and go meet the other trainees, I'm really nervous." _

_ "Don't be, they'll love you." _

She grabbed her bag as she proceeded to meet the girls she was going to be training with. She put her copy of the contract in her bag. Everything was falling together. She entered the room as everyone looked up. They all seemed friendly. There were some that were quiet, a little standoffish, but with her being new that was to be determined. At most she figured it would take time for trust to occur. 

_ "You're Ahnjong right? I'm MinJi, if we debut I definitely see you being the leader. What is your expertise?"  _

_ "I guess the dancer. That's my only talent really, I don't know if I can hold a tune."  _

Minji laughed. She seemed like the friendliest one, warm and welcoming. 

_ "This is Chunae, Mi-Ok, and YunHee. Mi-Ok raps, Chunae, YunHee, and I are vocalists. With you being lead dance, we'd be complete."  _

__

_ "It's a pleasure to meet you all, thank you for accepting me." _

The girls started practicing as Ahnjong taught them how to dance. They were interested in her as their teacher, and new found friend, Minji especially. She had heard about Ahnjong, and felt she would be an inspiration. She also defended Ahnjong's honor at the studio long before she officially met her. In school, Minji remembered Ahnjong being noble and looking out for everyone, defending those that were picked on. They never spoke since Minji was a few years younger, but that never stopped Minji from admiring her. She was excited to know Ahnjong on a personal level now. 

The day started coming to an end as they wrapped up their training. Shownu knocked on the door as they bowed to him. He was in trouble, and needed Ahnjong's help. 

_ "Ahn, can I speak with you?"  _

_"Sure Shownu,"_ they walked outside as he looked anxious, _"what's wrong?"_

_ "Well we all know you know our choreography. We need you to stand in tonight for our filming. One of our backups backed out at the last minute due to a sudden illness."  _

What he wasn't going to disclose, was that it would be on stage. He felt if he told her that much, she'd get stage fright and wouldn't do it. This would be a good way to get her prepared for going on stage, when she debuted with her group. It would also get her name out there. 

_ "Sure, what time do I need to be here?" _

__

_ "By seven, to ensure enough time for wardrobe and makeup."  _

__

_ "Okay, I'll get the kiddos from school and meet you there."  _

__

_ "Sounds good. Thank you, you just saved us."  _

He turned around grinning ear-to-ear. It would be nerve wrecking for her, but she could overcome this; just like she overcame her struggles. Ahnjong went back into the room. 

_"Ahn, I think he has a thing for you,"_ Minji watched Shownu walk away. 

_ "Shownu, no. There's no way, it's platonic. He's just helping me."  _

_"Honestly,"_ Mi-Ok turned around, _"I think you two look good together. Not to mention, you both share the same hobbies. Shownu is passionate about dancing too."_

Ahnjong got bashful about the thought. She did like Shownu, but she didn't know if he would ever see her in that manner. She left to get the kids settled at home, grabbing a shower and a bite to eat. She couldn't wait to tell Jinae all about her day. 

Jinae wanted to help cook, as they talked in the kitchen. _"Sister how did it go?"_

__

_ "It was wonderful Jinae. Absolutely amazing. The girls are so kind and welcoming. Oh and I get to help Shownu tonight."  _

__

_ "Like dance with them?" _

__

_ "Yes. So I will be leaving shortly to meet them. Are you sure you're okay with watching Haneul?"  _

__

_ "Yes Ahn, just go and have fun. I have this under control."  _

Ahn hurried to meet Shownu. She noticed people piling in the venue as she got anxious. The staff in charge of wardrobe pulled her back as they started doing her hair, makeup, and deciding an outfit for her. As they finished up, Shownu came to see her. 

_"You look great Ahn, you'll be great. Everyone will love you. I'm almost against this actually, you might steal our thunder,"_  He nudged her as she laughed. 

_ "Thank you Shownu, this is all help to you."  _

__

_"Ahn,"_ Mi-Ok and Minji called her name backstage.

_"You guys came?"_ She hugged them quickly. 

_ "Of course, we wanted to come give our leader support. We snagged a spot in front of the stage. You got this. Look for us if you get overwhelmed."  _

The girls said their goodbyes as they wanted to get situated. Ahn had to get ready to be on stage. The cue for them to enter on stage, was given as Ahnjong and the other dancers took their spot. When Shownu stood beside her, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She wanted to get through this with her best effort. Letting him down was out of the question. The music cued as they started dancing. Just like that night in the practice when Shownu discovered her, she allowed the music to flow through her. 

Every step was taken with great confidence. Even though the song was about four minutes, she felt like it lasted a life time. Alas, as the final step was taken, she heard her name from the audience. The four girls she had entered training with, was rooting her on. This was what she had been yearning for, for so long. She noticed a familiar face in the audience. It sent chills throughout her body. 

Backstage, after the performance, she felt victorious. It was a small part, but one that would lead to her greatest achievement. As she was talking among her friends, her name was called. That voice was distinct. She turned around seeing someone from her past. That face in the crowd wasn't just her eyes playing tricks on her.

•┈┈┈••✦✦••┈┈┈•


	6. ❈ Ghosts ❈

 Her members noticed her face turned white. She was stricken with flooding memories. Why after all this time, did they return? She turned briskly to walk away, leaving her things behind. Mi-Ok was brash, she saw her leader bothered.

 

"Who are you and what do you want with her," she picked up Ahn's bag as she and Minji ran to catch up.

 

Ahn walked out of the building as tears started to fall. She felt a hand grab her arm stopping her from leaving.

 

"Leave me alone! What do you want? You want redemption now? Did you gain a conscious after all these years."

 

"I know you're angry with me. You have every right to be."

 

"Angry doesn't even begin to explain this feeling. You left us!"

 

"Listen," the person tried to calm her down, "can we talk please. At least hear me out. I've been looking all over for you. I didn't want this to be a scene."

 

Ahn had her arms crossed as Minji and Mi-Ok stood between them. "Fine, but don't expect everything to be erased, turning into a new slate. Ladies, thank you. I'll call y'all later."

 

They handed her the bag as she hugged them. Shownu watched from afar, he was curious as to who it was that caused distress for Ahnjong. Ahn grabbed a taxi to take them to a restaurant. She requested the patio, so if emotions got high, which they were, she could hash her feelings freely.

 

"You grew up into a beautiful young lady."

 

"Yeah, no thanks to you. Why are you here?"

 

"Ahn, I know I have no right asking for forgiveness after being absent for so long. I also don't expect you to give that to me. Just know I never stopped thinking about you or Jinae when I left."

 

She glared across the table, she was hurt more than anything. Hurt that one of the people she trusted more than life walked out on her.

 

"You thought about us? How am I supposed to believe that when I never heard from you? We were so disposable to you, you proved that the day you left."

 

"Ahn I sent letters and cards for every holiday and birthdays."

 

"That is funny, we never received anything from you. Not even a phone call."

 

"I swear to you Ahn, I tried to come back to you, to your sister. When I returned, you all had moved out."

 

"Yeah, that was mom's doings. She also abandoned us. Right after Haneul was born."

 

"What do you mean? That house was paid for by my parents as a gift. I have a son?"

 

"Mom, put everything up for collateral with the loan sharks. We lost everything, the house, car, everything of value. No, he was a product of mom's ways. I'll never let him know that though."

 

"So you had to move as a result."

 

"It's a vicious cycle," she took a sip of her drink. "Why didn't you take me and Jinae with you?"

 

"I had no where else to go Ahnjong. I couldn't move two children with me, since I had to start anew. That wouldn't have been fair to you both. I wanted to get re-established first."

 

She sat back. Something didn't add up. Her dad was always one for his word, it hurt when he left. Ahn waited for his arrival, but got discouraged when he never showed back up. It was apparent she never received anything from her mom, if what he said was true.

 

"How long are you going to be here?"

 

"I'm living here now, my company expanded here in the city. They sent me to run it. You said your mom left? You have been raising your sister and little brother by yourself?"

 

"Yes. I'm their provider and I don't plan to abandon them, like you both have. Jinae is almost in High-school."

 

"Let me guess, she's just like you? Headstrong and stubborn with a loving heart. I see you followed your dreams. I still remember the day we videotaped your audition. You were so nervous, but I knew you'd make it."

 

"I'm a trainee, officially today. But dad, how did you find me?"

 

"A few of our interns are fans of your company. They spoke about a performance tonight, your name was brought up."

 

By the way he spoke with her, she could still sense the love. This was something her mom never did. Her mom never bothered to know her as a person, just a money tree.

 

"I don't want to be angry anymore. I always told myself I never blamed you. But I did. I blamed you for leaving me and Jinae. That day my world crashed. You felt you were doing the right thing by leaving us, but you were wrong. Mom made my life hell. She made me feel inadequate. Like I was a mistake. Everything I did, was always wrong. When I got the acceptance letter after you left, I thought I was going to fulfill my void. I worked hard every day after to push myself. But, she won. I had to throw my dreams away, to provide for Jinae and Haneul."

  

Her father sat across feeling horrible. If he knew her mom was going to do that to her he would have never left them. He would have taken that chance to ensure they were away from that environment. When he was there, he showered his children with affection and words of encouragement.

 

"Ahn, I obviously cannot turn back time, as much as I want too, but I want to begin working towards making this up to you both. Please, I will do anything. I love you and Jinae. I would do anything to go back to that day, and take you with me."

 

This was all so overwhelming to her. She didn't even have her members or Shownu to look for to calm her down. A part of her wanted to rekindle the relationship, while the other just wanted to say goodbye again; for the last time.

 

"How do I know you'll stay? How do I know that you won't leave us again? I have been let down and been given empty promises my whole life."

 

"I swear to you," he got on his knees as he pleaded for her forgiveness, "I never once stopped thinking of you girls. I worked at my company trying to develop a way to come back. If you give me the chance, I'll prove to you. To Jinae. I'll even help take care of Haneul."

 

As their conversation continued, Ahn was in deep thought. If he did try to contact them after he left, her mom sabotaged that as well. Her mom was a common denominator in anything negative that happened.

 

"I accept your offer of wanting to know us, but I still have my reservations," she wanted to run it by Jinae first. If Jinae didn't want to, then she wasn't going to force anything. "It's up to Jinae. I am older so I can handle betrayal a lot more than she can; especially if it happens again."

 

Her father agreed to the terms. He did understand her concern. All he wanted was to prove to her, he would never leave them again. He gave her his number, address, and the address to his company. Ahnjong waved bye as she headed home. Since it was a weekend, Jin would be up still. She also needed to do an investigation of her own.

 

"Jin, I need to talk to you." Ahn laid her things down as she turned off the TV.

 

"What is it Ahn? I saw your performance. You looked so good on stage. Is that what's upsetting you."

 

"Dad came to see me, asking for us to rebuild a relationship with him."

 

"Dad, but why? He left us."

 

"I know, but things don't add up, what he said that is. He told me he sent us letters and cards every year after. So either mom lied and hid that, or he's lying to try and save face."

 

"This doesn't make sense. Why didn't he come sooner?"

 

"He said he went to the house, but we weren't there. He claimed he's been looking for us for years. Did we ever go through mom's things."

 

"No, we shoved things in a box and called it good. I remember we wanted to burn it, but something told you not too. So, we just stuck it in the attic."

 

Ahnjong shot up as she headed for the attic. Opening it up, she told Jin to bring her the flashlight. When it was handed to her she looked for that specific box. Pushing things around, she finally found it. The answer to her new questions she had. She passed the box to Jinae as she climbed down the stairs. They both sat on the floor going through the box. Jinae found a Ziploc bag with letters inside.

 

"Look Ahn," she handed the Ziploc bag to her.

 

Ahnjong grabbed the bag. Her heart was racing. She opened it up to hundreds of letters that were unopened. She checked the address of the sender. It was written as clear as day. Her dad told the truth, he was a victim of their mother too. She noticed the date of one particular letter. It was sent after he left. When she read it, it disclosed his plans to comeback for her and Jin when he got a job and house.

 

"Jin, he did try to contact us. Mom intercepted."

 

She passed the letter to Jinae as she opened another. Every letter explained his guilt about leaving them. The cards he sent were for their birthdays and holidays. Even postcards of his travels.

 

"Ahn, what do we do? I know he left us, but this proves he tried to stay in contact."

 

"I'm not sure Jin. He wants to meet up with us tomorrow, and even meet Haneul."

 

"Well, he did do what he said he did. I don't think it's fair he left us, but it wasn't fair for mom to keep him from us. We missed out on nearly fifteen years of our dad."

 

She sat there thinking. "I don't want you to get hurt again."

 

"Ahn we would be hurt, especially now that we know the truth, if we didn't move past this and give him a chance. Let's try at least. Nothing says we have to continue if he ends up being toxic."

 

From the way Jinae spoke, was like she was the more level headed one out of the two. Ahnjong agreed solely because of Jinae wanting to rekindle.

 

"I'll let him know we'll be by tomorrow," she gathered the letters wondering why it took them so long to be nosy. If they would have also tried finding him, they would have had their father in their lives sooner.

 

Jinae retired to her room, as Ahnjong put the letters on the table. She received a text back from her dad, confirming their meet-up. Shownu called to check on her. Naturally, he was worried about her, he told her to meet him outside.

 

"Ahn what was that about? Was that man bothering you?"

 

"No, that was my father."

 

"Your father? I thought he left you when you were young."

 

"He did, but apparently he tried to contact us. We found the letters just a little bit ago. Our mom held them from us."

 

"The more I hear about your mom, the more I hate her as a person. So what now?"

 

"He wants to build towards having a relationship. Jinae wants to see him."

 

"You do too, I can see it in your eyes."

 

"This is so overwhelming Shownu. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I honestly would have expected this out of mom. But not dad, he kept me grounded. He was the reason I fell in love with dance. The audition tape, he helped film. It hurt so bad when he left."

 

"When are you going to ask me?"

 

"Ask you what Shownu?"

 

"If I'll go with you."

 

"Oh," she stumbled, "I wouldn't bother you with that."

 

"I'll be by to pick you guy's up. You need emotional support. Plus, if he's a bad guy, I don't want you to be stranded over there."

 

"Thank you Shownu. That means a lot. You seem to be a positive moving force in my life right now."

 

"Well, you're someone that I care about. Like I said, I'll be here for you every step of the way."

 

They stood looking at the stars as she felt relieved. He left wanting to get rest before he needed to collect them. She still felt reservations about the meeting, but maybe they could move past this. She went back into the house to sleep. They had a big day ahead of them.


End file.
